Now the Paranoia Sets In

My next ultrasound isn’t until next Friday (the 13th, of course).

Meanwhile, I’m still symptom spotting like a mofo.

The Good: My boobs hurt, and I’m pretty tired all the time.

The Bad: That’s it. I feel like I was way more nauseous by now when I was pregnant with my now-toddler (but that could have started closer to 8 weeks? Damn it, why didn’t I write that down somewhere!). Food was pretty unappealing about a week ago (which made me happy) but now I just feel ravenous all the damn time (and I feel like that’s a bad sign?)

Logically, I know that once you see a heartbeat, your risk of miscarrying is pretty low.

I also know that every pregnancy is different.

Plus, there are all those ladies who end up on TLC giving birth on toilets because they had no idea they were even pregnant — so I guess my point is, not every pregnant person always feels pregnant.

Now the Paranoia Sets In

Beta Day

9dp5dt / 11dp5dt / 13dp5dt

Just got the call from my RE and my Beta was 216!

I’m a little paranoid because 1) when I was pregnant the last time my first Beta was in the 400s, and 2) they told me not to come back until MONDAY for my second draw.

Plus, this is our first cycle back. I know plenty of people who have luck the first time, but that was never, ever, us. So I’m having a hard time believing this could be the real thing. 

Beta Day

Oh God, I Forgot What This Was Like

It’s been three-ish years since my last embryo transfer, and I’ve totally forgotten the insanity that follows. 

Did it work?! Of course it worked! No, it didn’t work. If it didn’t work, we’ll just try again. If it did work, what if I lose it? What if I have a baby on Christmas Day?! If it worked, when will we tell people? 

When can I start testing? Should I test early? I don’t want to get my hopes up. But I want to manage expectations. 

Last time I had tiny little twinges and pulls. When did those start? Should they have started by now? Oh god, it didn’t work. But I took naps yesterday and today, so maybe it did work. 

We should have transferred two. No, one was better. Twins scare the bejesus out of me. Oh, but twins would mean we were done-done. But it would also mean I’d be a crazy person for like four years. 

Was that a twinge?! Or was it gas? Why don’t my boobs hurt yet? It didn’t work. But they say every pregnancy is different, maybe I won’t feel pregnant at all, but it did work!

It’s been two days. 

Oh God, I Forgot What This Was Like


I’ve literally never typed that acronym before. I don’t particularly like the look, or the sound, of it. 


It sounds like a stage in, I don’t know, like a fruit fly’s development. 

But here I am — fresh off my embryo transfer! I even went all out and had acupuncture sessions before AND after my transfer, which I’ve never done before. 

Say hello to Lumpy. 

Now I’m taking it easy in my room, watching comedy after comedy, decked out in my lucky underwear and various other lucky charms, getting ready to chow down on some pineapple. 

Beta is set for the 21st. Fingers crossed!



Went into the RE this morning for my CD3 and (of course!) they found a cyst on my right ovary. 

I’m no stranger to cycsts, but after countless cycles with my RE in the last four years, I’ve never actually had one pop up in the middle of a treatment cycle. 

The on-call doctor (who I despise) said they’d have to wait for my blood work to come back this afternoon before they could say for sure if I’d have to skip another cycle. 

I assumed, because that’s just my luck, that of course I’d have to skip another cycle. 

Color me surprised that they called a few minutes ago and gave me the go-ahead to start my del estrogen tonight!

Lining check in two weeks, and FET on 4/8!